As the Disco Balls Turns

De Retour...

2008-05-26T20:38:00.002-04:00

After taking it really easy, i.e. getting OLDER and FEEBLER, for the past little while, the fact I found a tenner on the sidewalk last night prompted me to go out and largely. Started off the night with drinks at Sky (not my favorite place, so many drinks were needed), then progressed to Parking where people I had not seen in quite some time kept me well supplied and on to Stereo where I randomly met a guy from out of town who knows friends of mine, saw a girl walking around with an uncontrollable nosebleed and had to hide from some weirdo who attacked himself to me.

A shower and nap at home, then I was set to be off to the hair salon. Went to bring in my mail only to find two crackheads installed on my front step in front of my door. Mailbox half ripped off the wall and they weren't moving. AT FOUR THIRTY IN THE AFTERNOON. Ten minutes later, they were STILL there. So, pissed off and with no time to waste, I called the cops, who then spoke to them for about 15 minutes before I really had to leave and ran out the door. Four cops talking to them about how they couldn't stay there and they were still sitting down. Sigh.

A bit of a nerve wracking experience, I'm a bit shaky but had a moment of humor in it all, when recounting the story to a friend and his first comment was, "Well, were they someone you knew?"

LOL, ahhhh, funny how that was his first thought.

That's Right!

2008-02-12T14:51:00.001-05:00

Cupcakes Rock my World by ~mesapoo on deviant ART

A Sign?

2008-02-05T16:08:00.001-05:00

Memories

2008-02-05T14:57:00.000-05:00

Today as I sit at my desk eating butter cookies and drinking Sprite, it reminds me of going to practice piano at the elderly gentleman's next door when I was around 5. He would always give me cookies and Sprite.

Good times.

Picture of the Week

2008-02-04T16:50:00.001-05:00

Best Montreal Craigslist Post EVER

2008-01-30T11:11:00.000-05:00

So you've decided to use the elevator
Reply to: pers-554811534@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-01-28, 4:56PM EST

Hi there! I'm glad to see you've chosen the elevator as your preferred way of navigating the various floors of this office building. I know that you have many alternative means at your disposal of getting from floor to floor (the stairs, for instance), but I think you made the right choice by getting in at the ground floor (pun intende) with the fine elevator service offered by the landlord of this building.
As a fellow fan of the elevator I thought I might provide some helpful advice.

I know the elevator can be confusing. All those pretty lights and buttons! Because of this, it is important to ascertain beforehand which floor you want to go to. I know the options are many what with the building having 7 whole levels, so let's do a brief run-through:
You do not want to press the button for the ground floor, if this happens to be the floor on which you are entering the elevator. The same goes for any other level on which you are entering the elevator. If you are summoning the elevator, it is because you wish to go to another floor. Confusing, I know, but keep it in mind.
The buttons to select the desired floor are not placed randomly. You ultimately selected the 4th floor. 4 is located between 3 and 5. You do not need to stand in front of the buttons for a good 30 seconds trying to locate 4. It has not moved since kindergarden, rest assured. Trusty old 4 is still right where it should be, holding down the fort between 2 prime numbers.
Once you have reached your floor, it is appropriate to vacate the elevator. This is where you want to be. It's a magical moment, reaching your destination, but please enjoy it from outside the elevator. I was already late for work due to my girlfriend sleeping over, and I felt obligated to give her a little lovin this morning. You staring in wonderment at the fourth floor in all its glory just made me 30 seconds later, and my boss 30 seconds more angry.
Do not stare at yourself in the elevator mirror while another human being is in there with you. I admit, when I am alone in the elevator, I too make funny faces and admire myself in the mirror. The key word though, is 'alone.' I appreciate that you are big, you are beautiful, and somewhere under that makeup, there is a woman. Admire yourself in all your god-created glory another time, because frankly, you're wigging me out.

I hope that this has been educational. Should you have any questions regarding the operation of the elevator after reading this either consult the manual god gave you at birth called common sense, or avoid using the elevator all together by opening a window on one of the higher floors, and jumping out because YOU ARE TOO FUCKING STUPID TO USE THE ELEVATOR!

Signed,
That guy who works on the 7th floor.

Cancer - Joe Jackson

2008-01-29T13:37:00.001-05:00

Everything
Everything gives you cancer
Everything
Everything gives you cancer
There's no cure, there's no answer
Everything gives you cancer

Don't touch that dial
Don't try to smile
Just take this pill
It's in your file

Don't work hard
Don't play hard
Don't plan for the graveyard
Remember -

Everything
Everything gives you cancer
Everything
Everything gives you cancer
There's no cure, there's no answer
Everything gives you cancer

Don't work by night
Don't play by day
You'll feel all right
But you will pay

No caffeine
No protein
No booze or
Nicotine
Remember -

This was the song of my weekend. Go figure.

Glass of Wine

2008-01-21T15:47:00.000-05:00

To my friends who enjoy a glass of wine... and those who don't.

As Ben Franklin said: In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria.

In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated that if we drink 1 liter of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli, (E. coli) - bacteria found in feces.

In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poop.

However, we do NOT run that risk when drinking wine & beer (or tequila, rum, whiskey or other liquor) because alcohol has to go through a purification process of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting.

Remember: Water = Poop, Wine = Health.

Therefore, it's better to drink wine and talk stupid, than to drink water and be full of shit.

There is no need to thank me for this valuable information: I'm doing it as a public service.

Disco Grrl is Back!

2008-01-20T15:30:00.000-05:00

I am BACK! Despite Calderone having to cancel at Stereo, I still managed to make it out to dance. And I've realized that I've lost a lot of my stamina, so I definitely must go out more often and get back into shape, asap!

I went to the Legend party at the former K.O.X. location and had a blast - just like the last time I was there. Good people, good tunes and I love the space! B'Ugo is a great dj and amazing friend, so I definitely plan on supporting him next Friday, along with Hayden for their Suck My K.O.X. party launch.

DJ Manny Ward will be attending since he is playing Stereo on Saturday night (Which I will ALSO be going to.) Inobe, Karlito, Ben, Greg and more of the crew will be along, so it promises to be a stellar night.

I'm back!

Opposites

2008-01-19T11:21:00.000-05:00

This person has the same name as one of my dearest friends, yet they are complete opposites living in the same city. Scary!

Brick - Ben Folds Five

2008-01-19T10:58:00.001-05:00

On Ben Folds Live, Folds explained: "People ask me what this song's about... I was asked about it a lot, and I didn't really wanna make a big hairy deal out of it, because I just wanted the song to speak for itself. But the song is about when I was in high school, me and my girlfriend had to get an abortion, and it was a very sad thing. And, I didn't really want to write this song from any kind of political standpoint, or make a statement. I just wanted to reflect what it feels like. So, anyone who's gone through that before, then you'll know what the song's about." (thanks, Matt - Conway, AR)
This is the single that got the group noticed by a mainstream audience. It got a lot of radio play on various formats.
The year before this came out, Folds got some attention when he played the Lollapalooza Tour, often beating the hell out of his piano onstage.
When this became a hit, the group played a lot of radio station concerts as a favor for the airplay. Folds hated these shows, as the fans were usually there just to hear this. At one of them, a DJ asked them onstage which one of their girlfriends had the abortion.
This was not released as a single in the US. It got it's chart position due to airplay.
Some lyric interpretation:

"Now that I have found someone
I'm feeling more alone
Then I ever have before
She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly
This is the main symbol in this song: the brick and drowning. "She" refers to the girlfriend. Just imagine yourself underwater, running out of air, and trying to resurface... all the while carrying a brick. A little hard, eh? This is how Ben Folds Five meant it, that the girlfriend is dragging him down. Another good twist on this is this: one lifeguard certification test is to retrieve a brick from underwater. Could it be that the guy in the song wasn't ready for this kind of responsibility and commitment, just like a beginning lifeguard wouldn't be ready for that test?

"Off the coast and I'm headed nowhere"
My interpretation of this line was that the abortion is throwing him off track. 'Off the coast' meaning his life has suddenly taken a little detour, and 'headed nowhere' is him realizing that becoming a teenage father will get him nowhere in life.

"They call her name at 7:30"
'They' meaning the people at the abortion clinic.

"Then I walk down to buy her flowers
and sell some gifts that I got"
Buying her flowers is maybe the one indication in the whole song that he still cares for this girl. He is selling some gifts (Christmas gifts, remember this is the day after Christmas) to help pay for the abortion.

"Can't you see
It's not me you're dying for"
This is an interesting two lines, as it is him talking to the unborn child.

"Now she's feeling more alone
Then she ever has before"
This is where we finally learn the girl's state of mind in all this, and this indicates she's not doing too well. This girl is very upset about the abortion, and might be becoming depressed.

"They told me son its time to tell the truth
She broke down and I broke down
Cause I was tired of lying"
The parents have finally realized something was up with those two, and both of them broke down and told the truth.

"Driving home to her apartment
For the moment we're alone
She's alone
I'm alone
Now I know it."
This is perhaps the saddest part of the song. Even though they both went through this experience, they aren't truly in it together. 'For the moment we're alone' makes you think he means that the two of them are away from everyone else, but the next two lines show that what he really meant was that she was alone, and he was alone. Despite being "alone" in the car together, they were separate. Going through this kind of experience is tough, and it helps if you're going through it together. But we finally realize they are on two totally different wavelengths, and while they may still love each other (I am assuming here that they do), they will never be as close as they were before. (thanks, Jen - Mt. Laurel, NJ)

LOVES IT!

2008-01-18T14:47:00.001-05:00

Cold hands, warm heart

2008-01-17T16:10:00.000-05:00

I've often wondered where this expression came from, so I looked it up.

Not showing one's feelings does not signify lack of feeling. For example, Dan rarely sends flowers or anything, but he's a case of cold hands, warm heart. Why a literally cold hand should indicate sympathy or affection is not really clear, but this expression has been so used since about 1900, and the Germans have an identical saying ( kalte Hand, warmes Herz).

(Taken from answers.com)

Which Office Character Are You?

2008-01-17T15:02:00.000-05:00

Sometimes my place of work reminds me of this show, so I decided to take this quiz. Here are the results.

If you answered mostly Bs, you are most like Pam Beesly, the friendly voice of reason in a sometimes chaotic workplace. The bright spots of your day include pulling practical jokes, playing FreeCell on your computer and making people happy by doing extra, unnecessary work.

If you answered mostly Ds, you are exactly like Stanley Hudson: hard-working and serious, yet grumpy and disgruntled. Your boss annoys you, your pay depresses you, and for the most part, you’re laid back… unless something or someone gets you angry, then you become frightening.

I had an even amount of B's and D's.

Cocoa Locale

2008-01-16T22:39:00.000-05:00

This Year

2008-01-07T21:58:00.000-05:00

I am going to:

Decorate my apartment
Go to more Picnik Electroniks
Learn to BMX
Meet a cool graffiti artist (maybe those Kopshop kids)
Take more pictures of my city
Write more in my blog and work on my book
Take Indian Fusion dance classes
Sign up for my pottery class
Learn another language

It's all about new challenges and loving the life I'm living.

My Door Is NOT A Toilet!

2008-01-07T20:59:00.001-05:00

If I EVER catch the complete A**HOLE who lets their dog SH*T right in front on my door EVERY day, I am going to rub their f-ing face RIGHT in it.

Please - what kind of idiot/imbecile does something like that?!

Welcome 2008 - and Goodbye 2007, Ya Weirdo!

2008-01-02T15:11:00.000-05:00

2008 is FINALLY here! 2007 was quite a tumultuous year for me - a year of a lot of growing and changes. I'm in a good place now with a lot of good thing coming up. I love my apartment and am slowly making it mine. I love my job - challenging and I have a great bunch of co-workers. I'm very excited to see where this company is headed!

And without further ado, 2007, you were one hell of a year. Here is the weird news that shaped you.

Holy smoke" in nunnery tops 2007 weird news
By Erik Kirschbaum

BERLIN (Reuters) - From a Greek nunnery turned into a marijuana farm by two men posing as gardeners to a South African man with a gunshot wound told by a doctor to "walk the pain off," the world was full of weird news in 2007.

A Moscow woman set fire to her ex-husband's penis as he sat naked watching television and drinking vodka. The couple divorced three years ago but continued to share a small flat.

"I was burning like a torch," the wounded ex-husband told Tvoi Den newspaper. "I don't know what I did to deserve this."

In another unusual living arrangement, a German man left his dead mother seated in her favorite armchair at their shared home for two years after her death of natural causes at age 92.

Yet not everything that smelled like a corpse was really dead in 2007. In the German town of Kaiserslautern, police broke into a darkened flat expecting to find a corpse after neighbors complained of a nasty smell seeping out into the hallway.

But instead they found a tenant with very smelly feet asleep in bed next to a pile of extremely foul-smelling laundry.

There were sadly many deaths in 2007 that were hardly noticed, such as in Zagreb, where a Croatian man who boarded a night tram and died in his seat rode through the city for more than six hours before the driver discovered he was dead.

Unusual diets made headlines in 2007 -- such as: "No more crispy duck at Beijing toilets." Food stalls attached to Beijing's public toilets were banned ahead of the Olympics after complaints over toilets with poor sanitation.

Also in China, 66-year-old Jiang Musheng said 40 years of swallowing live tree frogs and rats helped him avoid intestinal pain and made him strong.

British artist Mark McGowan ate a meal of meatballs made from a dead corgi dog in a protest against animal cruelty. He said the corgi, which died from natural causes, tasted terrible.

Criminals filled odd news headlines around the world. In the United States, two Colorado men were accused of plotting to kill a man with rattlesnakes in a dispute over a $60,000 poker debt.

"It's a story out of the Wild West -- there's poker, rattlesnakes and unsavory characters," said Lance Clem, of the Colorado Bureau of Investigation. "You've got a bunch of snakes becoming involved with a bunch of snakes."

In Sarajevo, two armed men disguised as Muslim women in burqas held up a bank and escaped with $40,000.

A Zimbabwe man stole a bus because he needed transport to get his driving license.

A German bus driver threw a 20-year-old off because he said she was too sexy for his bus. "He opened the door and shouted 'Your cleavage is distracting me every time I look into my mirror and I can't concentrate on the traffic'," the woman said.

In La Paz, the winner of a Bolivian beauty contest was stripped of her title moments after her coronation when judges noticed she was wearing false hair plaits.

Climate change found its way into weird news. A Hummer owner in Russia's St. Petersburg gave activists the green light to pelt his oversized vehicle with rotten eggs and tomatoes.

A 60-year-old German man stunned lawyers during his appeal hearing on a flashing conviction by stripping off in court.

Every story needs a happy ending and Bangkok delivered for this one. A 76-year-old Malay Muslim woman from southern Thailand got on the wrong bus 25 years ago and got lost, ending up living as a beggar at the other end of the country.

But in 2007 she was finally reunited with her family.

Christmas Cartoon

2007-12-19T16:00:00.001-05:00

COMPUNICATE

2007-12-10T18:08:00.000-05:00

Urban Word of the Day
www.urbandictionary.com

December 10, 2007: compunicate

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=compunicate&defid=873030

When you are in the same room with someone, each on seperate computers, and you talk via Instant Messenger instead of speaking to them out loud, in person

GUILTY AS CHARGED.

REJECTED

2007-12-07T18:29:00.001-05:00

Click HERE to view one of my all-time favorite short films.

How Not To Fuck Up With Girls

2007-12-06T03:39:00.000-05:00

LOL - kinda true...

D - Maybe One Day I Could Be Her

2007-12-05T13:19:00.000-05:00

D

© Mark Lavorato

I am stuck to you
Like the stamp on an envelope
Of one of those letters we write and never send
Licked with a teary tongue
And slapped onto the corner with reckless abandon
That decayed as fast as courage

One of those letters written in frantic sentences
Words trying desperately to convey things that were never said
But should have been
The type of letter that sits in a drawer until it's forgotten
Which is never
And that ends with:

Come home.
Even if I don't know where that is.
I've seen it.
I have seen it.
It's the place where the sun drags slow across the floor
like it's sneaking up on us;
skulking over the wood while you read on your stomach,
crawling with hunted silence
towards your bare feet.

Please.
Meet me there.

Please.

MySpace Suicide

2007-12-03T20:03:00.001-05:00

What the hell? This is too much.

WORLD AIDS DAY - QUEBEC

2007-12-02T17:55:00.000-05:00

Click to see this video.

A sobering thought.

A day late, but the thought is still important. (And being out in the country on a PC and on dial up definitely didn't help.)

EXPOZINE

2007-11-24T09:52:00.000-05:00

Today I'm off to the fair. Yay! A writer's fair... I am so happy that I'm meeting cool people to do things with. So much better than always the same things and the same people...

Remembrance Day

2007-11-11T03:22:00.000-05:00

In Flanders Fields
By: Lieutenant Colonel John McCrae, MD (1872-1918)
Canadian Army

IN FLANDERS FIELDS the poppies blow
Between the crosses row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.

Fall

2007-11-07T07:25:00.000-05:00

It is the fall of my renaissance. I thought I'd found someone to be with - now I am not so sure. I've met another very interesting person though and I am very much looking forward to seeing where life takes me.

Slowly I am sorting through the mess of my apartment. I have a lot more decorating to do, as well as a lot of sorting and getting rid of the excess. I'm happy though. Things are coming along well and it feels like home.

Quote of the Day

2007-10-30T14:24:00.000-04:00

Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped.

To Explain My Life

2007-10-25T12:50:00.000-04:00

CROHN'S DISEASE

Sadness

2007-10-13T19:54:00.001-04:00

Tragic.

Caricature

2007-10-12T16:10:00.000-04:00

I found an awesome caricature maker online and this is what I came up for myself. Try it out!

Decisions

2007-10-11T21:52:00.000-04:00

So I've met someone I really like, albeit through an unconventional way, but so far, so good. He's setting things up in England so he can move here. Which is kind of terrifying and also exhilarating. But I think I should give it a chance. It's been so long since I've had a proper boyfriend though, that I'm not sure how I will react/feel/deal.

I guess there is only one way to find out. This could be the best thing, right?

In the meantime, it's definitely encouragement for me to get my lazy ass in gear and set up my apartment.

PHOTOGRAPHIC EVIDENCE

2007-10-09T14:54:00.000-04:00

Apparently I went to the Crack and Glue party, although somehow I was in the office at the same time. (Picture on the right is disconcertingly like me. Everyone who has seen it is convinced I was there.)

WHAT THE HELL?!

Thanksgiving

2007-10-06T15:44:00.001-04:00

Even though I haven't done everything I've always wanted to, or had everything I have always wanted, I really am very thankful for what life has given me. We really do get all we need and I am so very blessed. A great loving family, fantastic interesting loyal entertaining friends, a great new challenging and rewarding job and a new apartment near my friends and work and everywhere I want to be. But I've also been blessed to meet someone who I dare say may very well be my soulmate. He's captured me entirely, he's gorgeous, educated, accomplished and seems to adore me. Maybe my Prince truly has come.

Doppleganger

2007-10-06T01:40:00.000-04:00

Doppleganger

A double, an identical replica of a person. The idea behind this is that everyone has a Doppleganger, an identical copy of themselves somewhere in the world. If the person is good, then the Doppleganger will be evil and vice versa. It is even said that if the two should meet, then they will both perish.

Although there is no evidence that Dopplegangers exist, some people have actually reported claims of witnessing what they believe to be their Doppleganger. In all likelihood however, Dopplegangers are an aspect of myth only.

Lately, quite frequently, people have been calling to ask if I am at the same places as them or why I walked by and didn't say hello. And I have been no where near them. I suspect a doppleganger or a definite imposter!

COCOA LOCALE

2007-09-29T16:31:00.000-04:00

I heart Cocoa Locale. I heart Rheema. I heart a big box of cakes in my fridge.

Lovely Boy

2007-09-28T12:45:00.000-04:00

So once again, I met a new boy via Craigslist. He made me dinner, we drank some nice wine, listened to music & chatted until almost 2 am. Then he drove me home and said he had a lovely evening. We have tentative plans to see each other this weekend, to take a photography class together and to just generally spend time together.

He's sexy, has a gorgeous accent, is accomplished, foreign and just has me so utterly smitten.

SEEQPOD

2007-09-28T12:42:00.000-04:00

My darling friend Greg has found one of the best things ever. SEEQPOD. It's a fantastic tool online where you can listen to music, queue up songs you want to hear and create your own playlists.

I LOVE IT.

And PS, it has an application for the iphone!

Predictions

2007-09-28T08:01:00.000-04:00

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Move the furniture around. In fact, why not move some of it right through the front door and out of your life? If we're lucky, this will get you in the mood to launch a purge of everything that no longer belongs under your roof. Maybe you could throw a Simplification Party, complete with an exorcism. Or corral your friends for a haul-it-all-away caravan to the garbage dump. I don't care how you do it, Cancerian. Just get rid of all knick-knacks, wall hangings, funny mirrors, broken dreams, balls and chains, and formerly cute mementoes that have lost their cuteness. It's time to liberate your home.

Hmmm - this may very well be a sign! I think it really is time to start sorting out my apartment a bit more. It definitely cannot remain in the state that it is.

***************************************************************************************

Last night I was supposed to go to a party at the SAT with friends. A free Bacardi party and some good music. But then I was asked to dinner by someone I'd only previously met online and had been too lazy to meet before.

I was more in the mood for a quiet evening like that as the entire week at work has been pretty hectic.

He was just lovely in every way. Made me dinner, we sat there and drank wine, listened to music and talked. I got home at 2 am and I'm completely knackered today, but he was so worth it. Such a sweetheart, he even drove me home.

He's intelligent, cute, has a sexy foreign accent, a nice apartment and he just totally was exciting. I can't wait to see him again!!!

[Sesame Street] Grover disco dancing

2007-09-22T22:02:00.001-04:00

I heart GOOGLE

2007-09-16T23:40:00.000-04:00

Being the quasi-nerd that I am, I was already aware that GOOGLE was in town mapping out Montreal.

But I read it on Fagstein's AWESOME Montreal blog.

But tonight I met, via Craigslist, one of the guys who is here for at least a month doing the GOOGLE mapping. I was very happy as I heart all things nerd.

(PS the heart references are a nod to my dear new friend CRAIG. I think he'll be impressed.)

Change Is GOOD!

2007-09-15T21:01:00.000-04:00

Despite having two cigarette burns on my left arm, a mutilated by a hornet sting right arm, a dog bite on my left leg and broken bones in my right foot, I was able to secure a new apartment and move out of Verdump.

I figured that since I was going to have to move by November, I may as well look right away and find a good place and not have to schlepp my belongings in possible horrendous weather.

So I did just that. And I moved a week before my new AMAZING FANTASTIC job began, so I felt pretty ready to go. I have a lot of work to do, i.e. painting and unpacking. BUT I AM SO HAPPY.

Everything is working out.

Karma PayOut!

2007-08-31T00:30:00.000-04:00

So this summer has been challenging for me, as you may very well have deduced. (Or if you actually know me, then you know for a fact.)

But this week, things have started to turn around. First, I got hired by the company I really wanted to work for. A young, dynamic company, right downtown, that works with companies such as Microsoft, EBay and Google. My penchant for nerdiness will be satisfied at such a place of work!

I also found a great apartment in the heart of the Plateau, so really close to a lot of my friends. A sweet 3 1/2 with a private terrasse sort of area. And for a very reasonable price. But I have to now pack and move this weekend. Which I am NOT looking forward to, but at least I start work in 10 days, so I will be able to settle in.

Had a few interesting and good dates. Had some beer and drinks. All in all, a good week, relatively drama free.

But when I got home today, after spending some time with the ever lovely Adam, I got stung by a hornet. My arm is all red and swollen and I don't know how I will be able to sleep. It hurts so damn much.

Well something had to go wrong. It can't all be right! ;)

But Mom! The other 61-year-olds get an allowance!

2007-08-02T13:23:00.001-04:00

ROME (Reuters) - A Sicilian mother took away her 61-year-old son's house keys, cut off his allowance and hauled him to the police station because he stayed out late.

Tired of her son's misbehavior, the retiree in the central Sicilian city of Caltagirone turned to the police to "convince this blockhead" to behave properly, La Sicilia, one of Sicily's leading newspapers, reported on Thursday.

The son responded by saying his mother did not give him a big enough weekly allowance and did not know how to cook.

"My son does not respect me, he doesn't tell me where he's going in the evenings and returns home late," the woman was quoted as saying. "He is never happy with the food I make and always complains. This can't go on."

Police helped the squabbling duo make up and the two returned home together, with the son's house keys and daily allowance restored.

Most Italian men still live at home late into their 30s, enjoying their "mamma's" cooking, washing and ironing.

© Reuters 2007. All Rights Reserved.

Crackhead

2007-08-01T15:03:00.001-04:00

This video is HIGH-larious!!! I love how random and nasty Blind Date is and this just kicks it up a notch!

Quote of the Day

2007-07-28T18:45:00.000-04:00

All Through The Night - Escort Video

2007-07-28T11:11:00.001-04:00

Muppets + disco = perfection! Thanks to my disco love g-d, Slyde, for pointing this out!

Dreams

2007-07-27T00:24:00.000-04:00

Why is it that I still believe in fate, kismet, love at first sight?

I think I have been proven wrong time and time again. But for some reason, I just can't shake the feeling that I'll meet him one day and I'll just know.

Dildo, NFLD

2007-07-26T11:46:00.000-04:00

Dildo is a town on the southeastern Dildo Arm of Trinity Bay on the island of Newfoundland, Newfoundland and Labrador, Canada. It is about 100 kilometres west-northwest of St. John's. South Dildo is a neighbouring unincorporated community.

Dildo has an unusual name, which has attracted attention worldwide. Dildos is the traditional name for the two round pegs in a dory (a small traditional rowboat) which brace the oars during rowing. There is speculation that the town was named after a location in Spain or Portugal or the name of a short sword that is shaped like Dildo Island. A further explanation for the unusual name comes from the heavy presence of french names in the region (many of which have been anglicized). Dildo is reported to be a bastardization of the french "de l'île de l'eau", meaning "of the island of water", a navagational reference to the large pond on one of the three islands located at the entrance of the harbour.

Dildo achieved greater notoriety when it was mentioned in the song "A Night in Dildo" by the Canadian musical comedy group The Arrogant Worms. "A Night in Dildo" mentions Dildo as one of many examples of real, but amusing, Newfoundland place names.

Captain Dildo

One of the main tourist attractions in Dildo is Captain Dildo. Captain Dildo is a life-size statue of a sea captain. His distinguishing features are:

He only has one eye.

He has a purple helmet on his head.

He is known for spreading peace and love.

He is known for giving people good vibes.

He often repeatedly pulls in and out of port.

Famous Sayings About Dildo

"You can take a woman out of Dildo, but you can't take the Dildo out of a woman."

"There will always be a little Dildo in all of us."

Small Moments

2007-07-23T19:28:00.000-04:00

Today as I was taking the Metro home after an exhausting three hour job interview, I was reading on the Metro and trying to not be impatient to arrive back at the home front.

A small white butterfly was flying around the Metro car. (How exactly it got in there so far underground remains a mystery.) But it got a lot of people to smile unexpectedly and that's worth a lot. I just hope it made it out alive.

Ouch!

2007-07-10T16:47:00.000-04:00

This poor tree, which is about one hundred years old, was struck by lightning last night. What a way to go.

Words of Today

2007-06-15T16:33:00.000-04:00

Scapegoat:

a person or group made to bear the blame for others or to suffer in their place.

Hypocrisy:

The practice of professing beliefs, feelings, or virtues that one does not hold or possess; falseness.

Scramblings

2007-06-13T13:46:00.000-04:00

There is just something wrong about an Asian person wearing a shirt that says, "If you've got the fever, I've got your cure."

Girls who use "like" every two words MUST DIE.

I adore the word ostentatious.

Funny Lines of This Week

2007-06-12T15:58:00.000-04:00

"It's like the nails on a chalkboard to my soul."

Upon my return to work, my Asian co-worker said to me, "I missed you hard."

There's just something wrong (and oh so very RIGHT about that.)

Updates

2007-06-11T13:40:00.000-04:00

It's been awhile since I've posted. I've been a bit slack since a) I've been having internet issues and b) I got my wisdom teeth out and was lost in a temporary haze of codeine and sleep. Finally, I am starting to get back to my normal, which is far from society's normal, but I digress...

I've been expanding my horizons and enjoying it so very much. Movie with one friend, ice cream with another and then a cabaret/burlesque show with yet another... The times I am spending with my old group is becoming less and less. I'm a bit sad about it, but they do tend to repeatedly do the same things all the time, so I'm not that sad.

I think that my life is changing and for the better. I'm calmer, a bit more self-assured but yet also questioning a lot of the essential elements. I do feel like things are on the right track though and I suppose that is what matters.

Ghosts

2007-05-19T11:08:00.000-04:00

Funny how every few years my life undergoes a major transformation and I lose touch with people. I guess it's not that funny - just how life goes sometimes. Some people though do keep in touch and have had friends forever.

Mine change.

I recently joined Facebook and have been getting back in contact with people from the past 20 years or so. Scary how many people one can encounter in that time. Even scarier is just how many people mean so much to you but you've forgotten it.

Scary how some people still hold a place in your heart. Odd how the heart remembers what the mind forgot.

International Day Against Homophobia

2007-05-17T18:09:00.000-04:00

And Another Thing...

2007-05-08T23:36:00.001-04:00

Girls with really thin, very cunty eyebrows are not to be trusted. Ever. Period.

Craigslist Personals

2007-05-07T10:07:00.000-04:00

As somewhat of a social experiment, but also as a potential vehicle for meeting someone to spend time with, I have recently posted three different ads on the personals section of Craigslist. Now I am no stranger to internet dating, but with very "interesting" results so far, I figured I had nothing to lose and potentially everything to gain.

The three ads I posted were all in Women Seeking Men and are all completely honest but different from each other. I've gotten some truly genuine responses, but also some nasty ones. The most amusing thing? Several men sent responses to all three ads - which were exactly the same for all three. Do they just do a cut and paste?

I've met some lovely people however, and I am looking forward to my new friendships with some of them.

Always good to meet new people and try new things.

Tiny Terrier Dies After Saving 5 Kids

2007-05-04T09:19:00.000-04:00

WELLINGTON, New Zealand (AP) - A plucky foot-high Jack Russell terrier named George saved five New Zealand children from two marauding pitbulls, but was so severely mauled in the fight he had to be destroyed, his owner said Wednesday.

George was playing with the group of children as they returned home from buying sweets at a neighborhood shop in the small North Island town of Manaia last Sunday when the two pitbulls appeared and lunged toward them, his owner Allan Gay said.

"George was brave—he took them on and he's not even a foot high," Gay told The Associated Press. "He jumped in on them, he tried to keep them off.

"If it wasn't for George, those kids would have copped it."

One of the children, Richard Rosewarne, 11, was quoted in the Taranaki Daily News on Wednesday as saying George fought with the pitbulls to keep them off his four-year-old brother, Darryl.

"George tried to protect us by barking and rushing at them, but they started to bite him—one on the head and the other on the back," Rosewarne said. "We ran off crying and some people saw what was happening and rescued George."

But George, aged 9, was so badly mauled that a veterinarian had to put him down, Gay said.

"The two pitbulls ripped the skin from his throat and chest and down his back," he said, adding the tough little terrier also "had a bad heart condition."

Gay said the pitbulls' owner had surrendered the pair to dog control officers, and demanded they be destroyed, claiming they had launched unprovoked attacks previously.

South Taranaki District Council official Graham Young said the two dogs had been impounded, and likely would be destroyed because of the attack.

In New Zealand, owners of dogs judged to be too aggressive can be required to have them neutered and dogs involved in attacks are destroyed.

You'd Better Think Twice...

2007-05-04T09:16:00.000-04:00

Polo Ad

2007-05-02T10:19:00.000-04:00

Watch this! It's worth it...

Dunbar's Number

2007-05-01T09:49:00.000-04:00

As a social experiment, I've posted a couple ads on Craigslist to see what sort of replies I could get and also the eternal hope that never dies of meeting a soulmate (whether a romantic one or a friend for life).

One of the most interesting replies I got explained Dunbar's Number to me. It's definitely something I want to look into further.

Dunbar's number, which is 150, represents a theoretical maximum number of individuals with whom a set of people can maintain a social relationship, the kind of relationship that goes with knowing who each person is and how each person relates socially to every other person.

Something else fascinating, which could definitely hold true. Makes a lot of sense to me.

My New Boots

2007-04-15T16:39:00.000-04:00

Spring is here, so I bought the cutest rubber boots!

Here they are:

I'm in love. And my feet will not be perpetually soaked!!! YAY!

Serial Dater

2007-04-10T08:53:00.000-04:00

There have been a lot of changes in my life, as per usual. I'm finding I like dinner and a movie versus a club and a snort more these days. Not to say I don't love it when I do go out, but I am liking the balance in life.

My vacation was filled with lunches and a lot of sleep. I feel energized and very happy about life. I'm slowly starting to lose some weight, my skin is getting clearer and I am making more effort to be productive and take care of myself.

I have a great hair color & cut (Thanks Jess!) and get my nails done weekly. I'm working on cleaning out the clutter in my apartment and in general am much happier.

I've made plans EVERY day this week and I am much happier for it.

Discogrrl is turning a corner.

Quote of the Day

2007-04-10T08:49:00.001-04:00

"I'm facked out of my tree. And I can't find my tree."

Thought of the Day

2007-04-08T16:46:00.000-04:00

"Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling into at night. I miss you like hell."

Edna St. Vincent Millay

Letter to the Simpering Idiot

2007-04-07T14:45:00.000-04:00

Dear SI,

You annoy me at work by being stupid. But you're also one of those girls who I feel give girls a BAD name. You drape yourself over things, desks and men usually, to try and use your "sex appeal" to get what you want or to just not be told off for how stupid and incompetent you are.

Please SI, stop wearing so much perfume that I get a migraine that lasts me until the next day.

I am sure you are a "nice" girl, but you need to stop being such a SI and consider other people around you.

Thank you.

New Yorker bought jewelry using city bank account

2007-04-07T10:41:00.000-04:00

NEW YORK (Reuters) - A New York social worker charged more than $3.5 million in jewelry using a city government account and then had some of the swag mailed to the homeless shelter for mentally-ill men where he worked, prosecutors said on Thursday.

In March, Tracy Ball made 604 electronic payments to Jewelry Television, a Tennessee-based retailer which sells jewelry over the Internet and in infomercials, Manhattan District Attorney Robert Morgenthau told reporters.

The bank account Ball, 49, used was one maintained by the New York Comptroller's office to cover workers' compensation claims, Morgenthau said.

Ball has never worked for city government, and it is unclear how he came upon the account information.

Ball had the jewelry mailed to four separate addresses, including the Manhattan shelter where he had been employed as a social worker, the DA's office said.

Ball has been arrested and is awaiting arraignment. If charged and convicted, he could face 25 years in prison.

I'm Very Funny

2007-04-04T13:01:00.000-04:00

"Do you email me or how does it work?"

Hilarious!

My Crack is Fierce!

2007-03-28T18:34:00.000-04:00

Eric Schwartz Sexy Crack

Add to My Profile | More Videos

My New Baby

2007-03-27T16:22:00.000-04:00

I have been thinking about it for awhile, and decided today to adopt. Yes, I have a new baby.

Introducing the newest member of my family...

PEACO!

I love him. He's perfect.

"Peaco is very shy. Well... shy on the outside. On the inside, Peaco is a wild man! You can see it in his eyes. All three. Peaco really shines when he's doing what he does best. DANCING! Peaco loves to dance in the water... much to the dread of his cousin Cinko. Why dance in the water? Well, think about it! When you dance in the water, no one can see you! SHY! Remember? It's kind of a pain explaining water dancing to lifeguards though. Please dance with Peaco. He's seen your moves! (So don't step on his ears.)"

Good Grief

2007-03-15T21:03:00.000-04:00

by Lolly Winston

It's currently the book I am devouring and it has many spots that ring true to me, this being one of my favorites, "I don't think I need him the way you need a vitamin or a good night's slepp. I'm afraid I need him the way you need a cigarette or a drink."

Worst. Date. EVER.

2007-03-09T23:36:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I wonder why I even bother. This is definitely one of those times.

I decided that I wanted to do something after work today, so I decided to call up one of my admirers and go for a quick drink. As I was running 5 minutes late for our rendez-vous on Peel & Ste-Catherine, I called him to inform him of this situation.

He then proceeded to NOT be there. So I waited. 20 MINUTES. I called him and he didn't even apologize about making me wait outside. (He was obviously in a bar when he answered his phone too.)

He then suggested to go to Peel Pub. UGH. I have not been there since I was 16 or 17 and DO NOT think that is impressive in the slightest. I made him go to an irish pub (MacLean's) at least. We ordered drinks (dutch) and then the waitress dropped some money and he tried to keep it. SO VERY NOT IMPRESSIVE. I snatched it and gave it back.

He then called me an OLD LADY and kept insisting I LIKED IT. (I am one year older than him.)

I made my excuses and left.

Not I am home with my main man, Boris.

I think I shan't be calling him again.

Transitions and Questions

2007-03-09T00:39:00.000-05:00

As usual when I seem to be unhappy, I tend to do things I shouldn't and then beat myself up over it. Therefore insuring that I am unhappy I guess.

Partying away my paychecks and not sleeping certainly don't help when you have things to do and bills to pay.

But when you get rejected by someone you like it only seems like the right thing to do is lock yourself in that stall and get rid of the pain through whatever means necessary.

Others have an interest in me, but for what reason?

Not the good ones I guess.

I think it's time for some seclusion once again my friends.

Sick of being everyone's excuse or use. Or whatever.

F you all.

Stuck in My Head...

2007-02-16T19:19:00.000-05:00

This song has been stuck in my head and has been making me think of someone specifically...

When can my heart beat again
When does the pain ever end
When do the tears stop from running over
When does youll get over it begin

I hear what youre sayin
But I swear that its not making sense
So when can I see you

When can I see you again
When can my heart beat again
When can I see you again
And when can I breathe once again
And when can I see you again

When does my someday begin
When Ill find someone again
And what if I still am not truly over
What am I supposed to do then

Please hear what Im sayin
Even if, if its not making sense
So when can I see you

Hook

Please hear what Im sayin
Even if, if its not making sense
So when can I see you

Hook 2 times

VD

2007-02-15T18:13:00.000-05:00

And no I don't have anything! Never have, never will.

I am talking about that corporate created "holiday" that just passed. I hate it if only for the reason that I am usually alone, or that there are unreasonable expectations created that don't pan out.

Well I worked all day. Which wasn't bad. It kept me busy and out of trouble. i.e. drunkenness.

Then we were in the middle of a HUGE snowstorm when I left work and I got to my "date" VERY late. 11 pm dinner with Scotty and Kirk and then a movie, The Departed, which actually was very good. We got drunk on wine, did a line, and then my former fling Jesse happened along and drove me home.

My crush messaged me and we have plans this weekend.

And my lovely friend Jason from Vancouver had a dozen long stemmed roses delivered to me today.

I'm lucky as I clearly do have love in my life and I'm so happy that so many people thought of me yesterday.

Weekend Wrap Up

2007-02-11T21:22:00.000-05:00

Having only slept about three or four hours Friday night as I had the mind-fuck that is typical when I know I don't have as much time to sleep as I would like, I dragged my ass out of bed Saturday morning to head to work for a day of training. So early, so cold, so unhappy.

The training was actually very interesting and went extremely well. I left work earlier than normal and headed home to get ready for my Booze and Boardgames Party. Being the pseudo-Jewish mother that I am, at least at heart, I went to load up on food (I'd already got the booze, one has to have priorities you know!) and started tidying up my apartment.

Everything got done in plenty of time and I was able to relax in between tasks.

People started arriving later than planned, but I was ok with it as I was tired and needed time to settle in to what I knew would end up being a long night/day.

The evening at home was fun with such topics as monkeys on pot, the inhalation department, bathhouses and queen fag hags. Everyone seemed to get along very well and I hope that perhaps some new friendships were formed.

By the time 2ish rolled around, I was pretty hammered and hankering to go out and dance some of the stress, hurt and turmoil away. Arriving at the club, I was happy to see no lineup and then my beautiful amazing Dominic, the guest list bitch. He'd messaged me earlier in the week berating me for having been MIA in the past while. I saw several people I knew already and knew it would not necessarily be an easy night.

I was pleasantly surprised to see a lot of the people I care about all randomly show up, everyone drawn to be out for whatever reasons, but we all ended up there together. I started to dance, but felt out of sync and had trouble concentrating and shutting out all other distractions to get into my groove. I think I accomplished it at some points, but the night felt somewhat off. At least I feel like I got some frustration worked out.

Memorable moments: One friend being hit on by a guy and not being interested, telling him, "Sorry but I don't do charity work." CUNTY!

Getting trashed with Boozecaster and briefly discussing the demise of our respective relationships. Him telling me, "We loved each other so much, but we just weren't meant to be." Hearing that he actually meant it and could understand the lonely place I am feeling. We made plans to have dinner Wednesday, him offering to cook for me and who can resist a man offering to cook for you? Later on, I realized it was the dreaded VD. Happily I won't be alone and miserable. As much as I hate greeting card contrived holidays, I am also a girl and need to feel special, validation and love from someone.

Brief comments exchanged with the Captain about how lucky we are to have the friends we do who are all such amazing people.

A bouncer caught the bar dj smoking inside and tried to toss him out without his possesions. It didn't end up happening, but it was a truly sketch moment.

And the oddest one of all? Receiving this message: "I had canceled with XXX but then u showed me pics of ur new bf. I'm mildly hung up on u. I'm mostly fascinated by u I guess. Few people capture my attention like u have. Glad and not glad u met someone if that makes any sense. XXX is great and lots of fun, but not the one. I guess I feel u might have been. You're an awesome chick."

What exactly does one say or do in a situation like this?

Clearly a bump, or two.

Feeling fragile, exhausted from having to explain life changes to several people, feeling like I had to justify who I am to others, I arrived home ready to nap and see the lucky one tonight.

But he cancelled. Family plans apparently? And I was pushed off until tomorrow. In all honestly, I am happy as I will have a lot more time to rest and pull myself together. Having a mini freak out for many reasons, and again plan on setting up some kind of therapy. It's hard to learn to trust someone and give them the benefit of the doubt. Especially when my heart was set on being in his arms tonight. I was yearning that shelter. A temporary one perhaps, but still what balm my soul needs right now.

I like him ever so much - which is terrifying and exhilarating. I just need to learn to calm down, breathe, and be patient! Much easier said than done for someone who DETESTS waiting for anything. *sigh*

*bumpity, bump*

So Then Why??

2007-02-11T15:32:00.000-05:00

I have this bad obsession with reading nasty celebrity gossip sites. It's trashy and beneath me, but it's my (ok, ONE of my) secret pleasures.

So today I am reading what EYEZAK has to say about Britney, someone milking their 15 minutes of fame for all it's worth, but I digress, and I can't help but wonder about this statement:

"It was clear she was not over her marriage. The first time she invited me to her home I saw her wedding dress hung on the wall in a glass box. As we made love that night it was like Kevin was in bed beside us. She had not even begun to move on with her life."

WHY, if you felt this way, would you actually do the deed? You know she's not over him, she's fragile and you take advantage?

DOG.

Not that I had any respect for this trashy leech, but I definitely don't now.

The Measure of a Life

2007-02-06T10:07:00.000-05:00

Lately I have been pondering what makes a life meaningful or worthwhile. I've been inspired by fantastic people I consider friends, and by new people I have recently encountered.

I thought I was doing well, but realized I was being quite complacent about things. Not taking care of what I should be taking care of and letting things slide. In more ways than one. Letting relationships that shouldn't be fester into gaping sores that ultimately were draining all of my energy was probably the worst thing I was doing.

But then one morning I just woke up and got it. I was over it. Time to move on.

And since then, things have been getting increasingly more satisfying at an alarming rate.

My major irritation and worry and stress at work is now gone. I have a new boss, one who I believe respects me and who I actually feel is competent. My month has started off fantastically and can only get better.

I have been increasingly forging better relationships with my family and feel closer to them than I have in years which is no mean feat.

I am going to the gym several times a week and actually am looking forward to it every day. Researching dance schools and with plans to start climbing and sailing as soon as winter is over. All of this physical activity is making me happy, I feel much healthier already and I'm delirious that I'm being so active and not finding it difficult at all.

And then there's the person I met. He thrills me. Interests me. Captivates me. Says things that make me cry I am so happy. But as Sheeba was all too quick to point out, I could very easily turn this new beginning into a full broadway production with two kids and a nanny. So I won't. But I so very much want to. It's been a long time since I felt so inspired and cherished at the same time.

I am also feeling more inspired to write these days. But as I have no idea where to begin, I think I should look up a course that will help me along the way.

So to answer the question about myself, what measures my life? Well I am happy to say in 2007 it seems that I will stop cutting myself short and realize my true worth and what I have to give. I'm set on making myself more interesting, healthier and definitely happier.

This Week's Predictions

2007-02-01T08:57:00.000-05:00

CANCER (June 21–July 22):You're being compelled to get reacquainted with forbidden dreams and buried secrets and hidden truths. Be honest: It's not so bad; it's probably even a bit thrilling. Though it may generate some pungent and poignant dramas, you've got to admit that the dramas are pretty entertaining. And besides, if you can find a way to feel amused as you cooperate with these forbidden dreams and buried secrets and hidden truths, they will ultimately dissolve obstacles that have been postponing your future.

I kind of hate that this is coming true in my life. But it's also thrilling. But drama makes me ill. The end result may well be worth it though.

My New Hero!

2007-01-30T20:30:00.000-05:00

I went to the Canadiens game last night where I got drunk, had a great time and found a new crush!

Let me present him to you:

YUMMY AND TALENTED!

Quote of the Week

2007-01-27T12:29:00.000-05:00

"Laying in the sun on my bed napping, I realized that I have become a house cat."

-Pappacluck

SKATCH!

2007-01-27T10:10:00.000-05:00

Sure you're clean and sober, sure. You must have some horrible leprosy of the tongue or something then!

i like my body when it is with your

2007-01-27T08:08:00.000-05:00

e.e. cummings

i like my body when it is with your
body. It is so quite a new thing.
Muscles better and nerves more.
i like your body. i like what it does,
i like its hows. i like to feel the spine
of your body and its bones, and the trembling
-firm-smooth ness and which i will
again and again and again
kiss, i like kissing this and that of you,
i like,, slowly stroking the, shocking fuzz
of your electric fur, and what-is-it comes
over parting flesh . . . . And eyes big Love-crumbs,

and possibly i like the thrill

of under me you quite so new

Public Bathrooms

2007-01-25T10:39:00.000-05:00

I have been meaning to rant about this for quite some time. I absolutely DETEST them. Some people I know like them, although I find that statement QUITE disturbing and cannot fathom WHY they would say that. Especially out loud.

I guess partly why I hate them is due to the fact I have an intestinal disease. Cross that with my now infrequent partying, and you have a recipe for disaster. It's embarrassing, uncomfortable and sometimes mortifying.

That being said, I hate them for their general lack of cleanliness and privacy. I don't understand how people can't flush, persist in throwing used tampons around and the proverbial t.p. on the floor astounds me too. How do they treat their bathrooms at home? Were they raised by wolves? It got so bad at work that they have now posted a sign REMINDING people to keep it clean.

I also never get when there are six stalls and you're at one end and the rest are empty, why do people come and sit RIGHT next to you? I don't want to hear you do your business! And WHY exactly are you on your cell phone? I should do a test of the cell phones at work and see which ones have urine on them, lol! (Could be worse though...) And it's also a tad concerning when you see a boss not wash their hands...

Straight Bars

2007-01-25T10:15:00.000-05:00

So as part of my new plan to stave off the winter blues, I have decided every day I have to do something other than work. Either before or after, but I really believe the monotony of home-work-home was really getting me down.

Tuesday night a friend was dj-ing at a club (which I will leave nameless) with a 90s theme and on a cheesy cliche touristy street. I figured, "Hey, why not?" as it had been literally years, maybe even almost ten, since I'd been to a place around there. Plus I love my 90s house.

I managed to convince a few friends and then headed there from work.

The theme of the night was definitely people thinking they were all that. My friend said, "This is really much." And I countered with, "And really though, it's not anything at all." It was really the attack of the emo hair and white loafers were in abundance.

I forgot how cheesy Ginette and Linda from the 'burbs with their fake tits, bleached blonde hair and fake bake tans can be. Girls and guys eye-ing each other up, the straight boys being all macho. (My gay friend decided to imitate them at one point - "YEAH YEAH YEAH!" lol)

The music was ROCKING but $8 watered down drinks are not my style so I called it a night early.

The most redeeming part of the night? The obviously rough looking younger girl who looked like she was about 50 (How have you abused YOURSELF honey?!) traipsing around with a fur coat dragging on the ground. WORK!

Quebec Drivers

2007-01-22T15:17:00.000-05:00

~ * Quebec's Driver's New 2007 Handbook* ~

1. Turn signals will give away your next move. A confident
Quebec driver avoids using them.
2. Under no circumstance should you maintain a safe distance
between you and the car in front of you, because the space will be
filled in by somebody else, putting you in an even more dangerous
situation.
3. The faster you drive through a red light, the less of a
chance you have of getting hit.
4. Warning! Never come to a complete stop at a stop sign. No
one expects it and it will result in your being rear-ended.
5. Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive
bodywork, especially with NB or Ontario plates. With no insurance,
the other operator has nothing to lose.
6. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to
ensure that your ABS kicks in, giving a vigorous, foot massage as
the brake pedal violently pulsates. For those of you without ABS ,
it's a chance to strengthen your leg muscles.
7. Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right.
It's a good way to prepare other drivers entering the highway.
8. Speed limits are arbitrary figures; given only as a
suggestion and are not enforceable in Quebec during rush hour,
especially in Montreal.
9. Just because you're in the left lane and have no room to
speed up or move over doesn't mean that a Quebec driver flashing
his high beams behind you doesn't think he can go faster in your
spot.
10. Always brake and rubberneck when you see an accident or
even someone changing a tire. This is seen as a sign of respect for
the victim.
11. Learn to swerve abruptly without signalling. Quebec is
the home of high-speed slalom-driving; thanks to the Department of
Public Works, which puts pot-holes in key locations to test
drivers' reflexes and keep them alert.
12. It is tradition in Quebec to honk your horn at cars in
front of you that do not move three milliseconds after the light
turns green.
13. To avoid injury in the event of a collision or rollover,
it is important to exit your vehicle thru the windshield right
away. Wearing your seat belt will only impede your hi-velocity
escape from danger.
14. Remember that the goal of every Quebec driver is to get
ahead of the pack by whatever means necessary.
15. In Quebec, 'flipping the bird' is considered a polite
salute. This gesture should always be returned.

Thank You From,
The Quebec Registrar of Motor Vehicles

"OFF THE HOOK"

2007-01-20T10:28:00.000-05:00

I HATE with a passion this expression that I find quite retarded, to say the least.

So obviously I had to research it and see where it came from:

"If you have a weak constitution, I recommend that you bypass the London Dungeon.

It was there that I learned the origin of the phrase “off the hook.” Detainees were strung up on a hook through the torso, see, and if they survived a certain amount of time, they were let off the hook. Good luck to you, pip pip, and all that rot."

When I Grow Up...

2007-01-18T22:45:00.000-05:00

I want to be a polar bear.

GMail Tip of the Day

2007-01-17T20:42:00.000-05:00

You can make a lovely hat out of previously-used aluminum foil.

And why would you want to? Alien contact? lol... Odd and amusing!

Welcome to America

2007-01-17T00:57:00.000-05:00

Posh ain't got NOTHING on Montreal grrls baby!

My Bus Adventure

2007-01-17T00:44:00.000-05:00

On Monday, I decided I was taking a few hours off to attend a corporate event that would detail the plans for the company for the year with dinner and drinks included and also the possibility to win prizes.

It was an entire adventure to arrive there. I am surprised I made it. Here is the MSN conversation I had with STaRBOrN detailing the adventure: (Which normally takes maximum 15 minutes of bus to arrive at the metro; it took me one hour and forty minutes)

~LUSHIOUS~ says:
So I am on the bus but traffic is not moving AT ALL
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
Amazing
<> says:
yeah i could imagine...that sucks
<> says:
when you hit metro it'll be lightning fast
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
Yes but I have had it take over an hour to get to the metro, normally
about 10 minutes away
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
And today seems like it will be one of those days
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
None of the 520 or the service road is moving really
<> says:
its distgusting outside
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
Ok, now it has started a bit
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
And I got a seat
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
So it's survivable
<> says:
thats a good thing...for 2 years i had to stand on my way home from work
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
I was debating skipping the corporate dinner thing
<> says:
why ?
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
But I will go and just leave early if I am too tired
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
Tired
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
But I doubt I will sleep anyway
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
I think I am just tired from the callers
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
Today was very horrible
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
Oh g-d, the bus driver is now playing pan flute music really loudly
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
Why does g-d hate me?
<> says:
i have no idea
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
Oh g-d you really have to hear this music
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
It is something else
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
I might just cry honestly
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
Can you try to find why this highway is not moving at all?
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
Hello?
<> says:
im gonna check
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
Thanks
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
Cuz I may just try walking at this point
<> says:
i dont see anything noteable
<> says:
everywhere is like code red...as in "slow" moving
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
This is absolutely ridiculous
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
It's not moving at all
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
It's not even fast enough to be considered slow
<> says:
lol...that's awful
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
Very much so
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
If I am going to be an hour late to dinner, there's no point going
<> says:
good point
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
Oh great, now some a**hole is being loud on his cell phone
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
Can it get worse?
<> says:
im listening to the radio right now
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
Thanks
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
This is just horrible
<> says:
right lane accident
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
Oh g-d, beautiful
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
I am officially FACKED
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
Argh
<> says:
pretty much
<> says:
get comfy
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
So annoying
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
I take time off to go do something and of course it gets fucked up
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
Why is everything for me difficult
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
Or has to get fucked up
<> says:
that sucks
<> says:
thats awful actually
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
Did they say how long before it's cleared up?
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
I know sometimes they do
<> says:
no idea
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
I really feel like crying
<> says:
lol...don't cry
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
it's not funny
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
I am tired, I had a crap day, I am late, and stuck on a bus with a
loud retard and pan flute music
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
Anyone would feel like crying in my situation really
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
Now we almost got in an accident
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
Fucking amazing
<> says:
at least you're on a bus, those things are indestructible
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
Yes but if some a**hole hits us, then I am definitely later
<> says:
true enough. settle in and try not to let it get you down, it's just
weather messing with ya
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
Fuck I am going to lose it
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
Honestly
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
What fucking next could possibly go wrong?
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
I am sure I will know momentarily
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
Yup - he turned that horrible crap up louder
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
Beautiful
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
Any updates?
<> says:
no...nothing
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
This is the worst
<> says:
you'll have to count on minimum an hour
<> says:
just to clear the accident and get things moving
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
It's been an hour already
<> says:
then keep your fingers crossed
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
Well I might as well just go home
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
If I can ever get there
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
Now the f-ing b*tch who cut us off just shut off her car and refuses to move
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
So the bus driver just rammed her car out of the way and took off
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
That moment was fucking GOLD
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
It was almost all worth it
<> says:
yahoo. you should blow the bus driver a kiss when you get off
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
I honestly would never have expected a bus driver to do that, let alone
one listening to music this horrible.
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
What a stupid b*tch she was though.
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
I have probably never seen anyone more ignorant in my entire life.
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
Now traffic behind us is all f-ed up because she's f-ing mental.
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
At least we're now moving.
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
I am going to go to the thing, super late, but what can you do?
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
I want to win an ipod MINIMUM though
<> says:
that would be nice
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
Yes
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
For all my troubles, I deserve it
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
Someone just got on the bus and this huge exacto fell out of their bag
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
No one picked it up
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
SKETCH
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
We're almost where we have to turn, so the end is visible
<> says:
hooray
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
Yes but something else could go wrong, it's been one of those days for sure
<> says:
we'll hope for the best
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
Yes, but now the loud retard has been staring at me for 15 minutes staright
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
Ugh
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
Yay, he shut off the music
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
no, he just changed it
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
Ugh
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
We're almost there
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
Slowly
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
Yes, now the bus is trying to half drive on the snowbank to get by people
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
Not working
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
But the effort is appreciated
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
Oh god, he did it
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
I love him
<> says:
a new hero is born
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
Now some other b*tch cut us off
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
I hope he rams her too
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
Now two ambulances just had to drive through this shit
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
It was most impressive
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
Wow this quite an adventure
<> says:
some nice action going on
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
They're basicaaly clearing a way for us
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
5 minutes and I am at the metro
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
Who knew the bus would be such an adventure
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
I almost want to propose marriage to the driver
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
At least break into applause!

The second part of this adventure was all done to the soundtrack of some crazy classical music. How apropos. And he did sort of ram the second b*tch who cut us off.

The bus driver rocked. Some woman on the bus who kept complaining to him it was hot, well when she got off, he told her, "Enjoy yourself, it's cold out there."

lol

I MISS THEM

2007-01-12T10:33:00.000-05:00

I am currently walking around my place wearing my havs. I miss them. I can't wait til summer.

I'm Not That Kind of Girl

2007-01-10T10:06:00.000-05:00

Not the one that ballads are written for.

That ships sail for.

That causes sleepless nights.

That monuments are built for.

That wars are waged for.

I really am not her.

I'm the girl who

tries too hard.

Gives too much.

Is loved too little.

Relationship

2006-12-29T23:23:00.000-05:00

I sometimes have to wonder about people's fascination with my relationship.

My parents "harass" me about the when's of a) am I getting married and b) having children.

A former acquaintance said to me today, "I am amazed you've been sticking with the same penis for so long." (And that is pretty much verbatim.)

And my friend's drunken Polish father last night at a holiday dinner, having just met us both pretty much, "When are you two going to stop just fucking around and get married?"

I didn't know the intricacies of it all could be so compelling and interesting to so many people.

Next Year's Predictions!

2006-12-28T08:30:00.000-05:00

CANCER (June 21–July 22): I nominate you to be the zodiac's most successful complainer in 2007. According to my analysis of the omens, you could excel at formulating brisk critiques and constructive dissent. You may even have a genius for bringing the bracing intelligence of the heart to bear on situations that are paralyzed by mind games. If you manage to fulfill the potential I'm prophesying, you'll set in motion far-reaching ripples of benevolent change. More power to you, Cancerian! May your grumbles and squawks and protests be imbued with lyrical persuasiveness.

I have ABSOLUTELY no problem with this.

Merry Christmas

2006-12-22T22:55:00.000-05:00

Have a safe and happy holiday season! Party hard but be safe, and all the best for you and yours.

Glass Ceiling

2006-12-13T09:56:00.000-05:00

"Shatter the glass ceiling that holds you back."

I know this is typically meant for the corporate world, due to men getting promoted more quickly than women, etc, etc... But I think it should apply to any situation where you're feeling trampled upon, held down, used up or taken for granted. There is nothing more depressing and self-defeating that letting others form your opinion of yourself by the way they treat you. I guess my lesson today is that I need to demand better treatment and not stand for less than what I give.

Why have people seemingly forgotten the golden rule?