Monday, January 22, 2007

Quebec Drivers

~ * Quebec's Driver's New 2007 Handbook* ~

1. Turn signals will give away your next move. A confident
Quebec driver avoids using them.
2. Under no circumstance should you maintain a safe distance
between you and the car in front of you, because the space will be
filled in by somebody else, putting you in an even more dangerous
3. The faster you drive through a red light, the less of a
chance you have of getting hit.
4. Warning! Never come to a complete stop at a stop sign. No
one expects it and it will result in your being rear-ended.
5. Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive
bodywork, especially with NB or Ontario plates. With no insurance,
the other operator has nothing to lose.
6. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to
ensure that your ABS kicks in, giving a vigorous, foot massage as
the brake pedal violently pulsates. For those of you without ABS ,
it's a chance to strengthen your leg muscles.
7. Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right.
It's a good way to prepare other drivers entering the highway.
8. Speed limits are arbitrary figures; given only as a
suggestion and are not enforceable in Quebec during rush hour,
especially in Montreal.
9. Just because you're in the left lane and have no room to
speed up or move over doesn't mean that a Quebec driver flashing
his high beams behind you doesn't think he can go faster in your
10. Always brake and rubberneck when you see an accident or
even someone changing a tire. This is seen as a sign of respect for
the victim.
11. Learn to swerve abruptly without signalling. Quebec is
the home of high-speed slalom-driving; thanks to the Department of
Public Works, which puts pot-holes in key locations to test
drivers' reflexes and keep them alert.
12. It is tradition in Quebec to honk your horn at cars in
front of you that do not move three milliseconds after the light
turns green.
13. To avoid injury in the event of a collision or rollover,
it is important to exit your vehicle thru the windshield right
away. Wearing your seat belt will only impede your hi-velocity
escape from danger.
14. Remember that the goal of every Quebec driver is to get
ahead of the pack by whatever means necessary.
15. In Quebec, 'flipping the bird' is considered a polite
salute. This gesture should always be returned.

Thank You From,
The Quebec Registrar of Motor Vehicles


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