Sunday, July 24, 2005


I have realized that I am intensely unhappy being alone. I've realized I need some sort of validation of my worth by being desired by someone and for more than a minute or a night. Such empty empty relationships I've had in my life. I miss waking up beside someone and seeing them and just being content. Having that one person you can always call. That one person who's there for you. I'm caught between being happy with my independance and terrified of ending up alone forever. I don't think I could deal with waking up at 30 and being alone. Now the question is, how to change this?

I miss kissing. I miss affection. Now I just feel cut off and starving. Can a soul wither and die from lack of love?


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Listen to bjork's "it's oh so quiet". It's all about the cycles, baby. Finding love, partnership, affection,'s inevitable! It's preparing itself to come your way right now! Just enjoy this time of having the bed to yourself, having no one else to clean up after, leaving more time between waxes... enjoy it! I can remember times of feeling more alone and despondent WITH someone than without. Even the best relationships have an inevitable cycle about them: the rush, the breathlessness, then the plateau, then the work, then the highs and lows, carrying the other's emotional baggage... Spend your energy enjoying what you're in right now with yourself rather than pining for what is inevitably coming your way. Be the devastatingly hot and available woman that you are. Freedom is one of the sexiest things to put on at night.

Pep talk over, sister.

4:43 PM  

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