Wednesday, March 02, 2005

Afraid of the Dark

I don't exactly know why, but I've kind of always been afraid of the dark. But it's getting much worse as of late. And that I definitely don't understand why. I often would fall asleep as a child with my light on, and my mother would turn it off later on. If I happened to wake up, I'd feel an almost paralyzing fear and turn it back on. (Like the light being turned on would make ANY difference?!)

In the past couple of years, I've had a few traumatic experiences in the dark or while sleeping, which is what I attibute the current terror to. (Try having your ex break in while you're sleeping and then attack you and see how well YOU sleep after!)

So last night, I had a sleepover guest and for the first time in ages I was able to sleep and well with the light off. (Aside from when I take a Valium or something, and then I'm pretty much just in a coma...) But it's amazing how a person can just make you feel so utterly safe.

Now I just woke up from a terrifying dream of murder. Honestly, I have no idea where this shit comes from, but I couldn't move for what seemed like ages as I was too busy trying not to breathe... ARGH. Seems like I should look into this and what is causing it.

No, this is not Chris and I, I slept quite well when he was there.


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