Sunday, July 24, 2005


I have realized that I am intensely unhappy being alone. I've realized I need some sort of validation of my worth by being desired by someone and for more than a minute or a night. Such empty empty relationships I've had in my life. I miss waking up beside someone and seeing them and just being content. Having that one person you can always call. That one person who's there for you. I'm caught between being happy with my independance and terrified of ending up alone forever. I don't think I could deal with waking up at 30 and being alone. Now the question is, how to change this?

I miss kissing. I miss affection. Now I just feel cut off and starving. Can a soul wither and die from lack of love?