My New Hero!

I went to the Canadiens game last night where I got drunk, had a great time and found a new crush!

Let me present him to you:



YUMMY AND TALENTED!

Quote of the Week

"Laying in the sun on my bed napping, I realized that I have become a house cat."

-Pappacluck

SKATCH!

Sure you're clean and sober, sure. You must have some horrible leprosy of the tongue or something then!

i like my body when it is with your

e.e. cummings

i like my body when it is with your
body. It is so quite a new thing.
Muscles better and nerves more.
i like your body. i like what it does,
i like its hows. i like to feel the spine
of your body and its bones, and the trembling
-firm-smooth ness and which i will
again and again and again
kiss, i like kissing this and that of you,
i like,, slowly stroking the, shocking fuzz
of your electric fur, and what-is-it comes
over parting flesh . . . . And eyes big Love-crumbs,

and possibly i like the thrill

of under me you quite so new

Public Bathrooms

I have been meaning to rant about this for quite some time. I absolutely DETEST them. Some people I know like them, although I find that statement QUITE disturbing and cannot fathom WHY they would say that. Especially out loud.

I guess partly why I hate them is due to the fact I have an intestinal disease. Cross that with my now infrequent partying, and you have a recipe for disaster. It's embarrassing, uncomfortable and sometimes mortifying.

That being said, I hate them for their general lack of cleanliness and privacy. I don't understand how people can't flush, persist in throwing used tampons around and the proverbial t.p. on the floor astounds me too. How do they treat their bathrooms at home? Were they raised by wolves? It got so bad at work that they have now posted a sign REMINDING people to keep it clean.

I also never get when there are six stalls and you're at one end and the rest are empty, why do people come and sit RIGHT next to you? I don't want to hear you do your business! And WHY exactly are you on your cell phone? I should do a test of the cell phones at work and see which ones have urine on them, lol! (Could be worse though...) And it's also a tad concerning when you see a boss not wash their hands...

Straight Bars

So as part of my new plan to stave off the winter blues, I have decided every day I have to do something other than work. Either before or after, but I really believe the monotony of home-work-home was really getting me down.

Tuesday night a friend was dj-ing at a club (which I will leave nameless) with a 90s theme and on a cheesy cliche touristy street. I figured, "Hey, why not?" as it had been literally years, maybe even almost ten, since I'd been to a place around there. Plus I love my 90s house.

I managed to convince a few friends and then headed there from work.

The theme of the night was definitely people thinking they were all that. My friend said, "This is really much." And I countered with, "And really though, it's not anything at all." It was really the attack of the emo hair and white loafers were in abundance.

I forgot how cheesy Ginette and Linda from the 'burbs with their fake tits, bleached blonde hair and fake bake tans can be. Girls and guys eye-ing each other up, the straight boys being all macho. (My gay friend decided to imitate them at one point - "YEAH YEAH YEAH!" lol)

The music was ROCKING but $8 watered down drinks are not my style so I called it a night early.

The most redeeming part of the night? The obviously rough looking younger girl who looked like she was about 50 (How have you abused YOURSELF honey?!) traipsing around with a fur coat dragging on the ground. WORK!

Quebec Drivers

~ * Quebec's Driver's New 2007 Handbook* ~

1. Turn signals will give away your next move. A confident
Quebec driver avoids using them.
2. Under no circumstance should you maintain a safe distance
between you and the car in front of you, because the space will be
filled in by somebody else, putting you in an even more dangerous
situation.
3. The faster you drive through a red light, the less of a
chance you have of getting hit.
4. Warning! Never come to a complete stop at a stop sign. No
one expects it and it will result in your being rear-ended.
5. Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive
bodywork, especially with NB or Ontario plates. With no insurance,
the other operator has nothing to lose.
6. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to
ensure that your ABS kicks in, giving a vigorous, foot massage as
the brake pedal violently pulsates. For those of you without ABS ,
it's a chance to strengthen your leg muscles.
7. Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right.
It's a good way to prepare other drivers entering the highway.
8. Speed limits are arbitrary figures; given only as a
suggestion and are not enforceable in Quebec during rush hour,
especially in Montreal.
9. Just because you're in the left lane and have no room to
speed up or move over doesn't mean that a Quebec driver flashing
his high beams behind you doesn't think he can go faster in your
spot.
10. Always brake and rubberneck when you see an accident or
even someone changing a tire. This is seen as a sign of respect for
the victim.
11. Learn to swerve abruptly without signalling. Quebec is
the home of high-speed slalom-driving; thanks to the Department of
Public Works, which puts pot-holes in key locations to test
drivers' reflexes and keep them alert.
12. It is tradition in Quebec to honk your horn at cars in
front of you that do not move three milliseconds after the light
turns green.
13. To avoid injury in the event of a collision or rollover,
it is important to exit your vehicle thru the windshield right
away. Wearing your seat belt will only impede your hi-velocity
escape from danger.
14. Remember that the goal of every Quebec driver is to get
ahead of the pack by whatever means necessary.
15. In Quebec, 'flipping the bird' is considered a polite
salute. This gesture should always be returned.

Thank You From,
The Quebec Registrar of Motor Vehicles

"OFF THE HOOK"

I HATE with a passion this expression that I find quite retarded, to say the least.

So obviously I had to research it and see where it came from:

"If you have a weak constitution, I recommend that you bypass the London Dungeon.

It was there that I learned the origin of the phrase “off the hook.” Detainees were strung up on a hook through the torso, see, and if they survived a certain amount of time, they were let off the hook. Good luck to you, pip pip, and all that rot."

When I Grow Up...

I want to be a polar bear.

GMail Tip of the Day

You can make a lovely hat out of previously-used aluminum foil.

And why would you want to? Alien contact? lol... Odd and amusing!

Welcome to America

Posh ain't got NOTHING on Montreal grrls baby!

My Bus Adventure

On Monday, I decided I was taking a few hours off to attend a corporate event that would detail the plans for the company for the year with dinner and drinks included and also the possibility to win prizes.

It was an entire adventure to arrive there. I am surprised I made it. Here is the MSN conversation I had with STaRBOrN detailing the adventure: (Which normally takes maximum 15 minutes of bus to arrive at the metro; it took me one hour and forty minutes)

~LUSHIOUS~ says:
So I am on the bus but traffic is not moving AT ALL
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
Amazing
<> says:
yeah i could imagine...that sucks
<> says:
when you hit metro it'll be lightning fast
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
Yes but I have had it take over an hour to get to the metro, normally
about 10 minutes away
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
And today seems like it will be one of those days
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
None of the 520 or the service road is moving really
<> says:
its distgusting outside
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
Ok, now it has started a bit
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
And I got a seat
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
So it's survivable
<> says:
thats a good thing...for 2 years i had to stand on my way home from work
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
I was debating skipping the corporate dinner thing
<> says:
why ?
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
But I will go and just leave early if I am too tired
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
Tired
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
But I doubt I will sleep anyway
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
I think I am just tired from the callers
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
Today was very horrible
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
Oh g-d, the bus driver is now playing pan flute music really loudly
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
Why does g-d hate me?
<> says:
i have no idea
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
Oh g-d you really have to hear this music
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
It is something else
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
I might just cry honestly
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
Can you try to find why this highway is not moving at all?
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
Hello?
<> says:
im gonna check
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
Thanks
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
Cuz I may just try walking at this point
<> says:
i dont see anything noteable
<> says:
everywhere is like code red...as in "slow" moving
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
This is absolutely ridiculous
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
It's not moving at all
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
It's not even fast enough to be considered slow
<> says:
lol...that's awful
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
Very much so
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
If I am going to be an hour late to dinner, there's no point going
<> says:
good point
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
Oh great, now some a**hole is being loud on his cell phone
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
Can it get worse?
<> says:
im listening to the radio right now
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
Thanks
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
This is just horrible
<> says:
right lane accident
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
Oh g-d, beautiful
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
I am officially FACKED
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
Argh
<> says:
pretty much
<> says:
get comfy
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
So annoying
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
I take time off to go do something and of course it gets fucked up
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
Why is everything for me difficult
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
Or has to get fucked up
<> says:
that sucks
<> says:
thats awful actually
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
Did they say how long before it's cleared up?
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
I know sometimes they do
<> says:
no idea
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
I really feel like crying
<> says:
lol...don't cry
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
it's not funny
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
I am tired, I had a crap day, I am late, and stuck on a bus with a
loud retard and pan flute music
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
Anyone would feel like crying in my situation really
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
Now we almost got in an accident
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
Fucking amazing
<> says:
at least you're on a bus, those things are indestructible
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
Yes but if some a**hole hits us, then I am definitely later
<> says:
true enough. settle in and try not to let it get you down, it's just
weather messing with ya
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
Fuck I am going to lose it
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
Honestly
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
What fucking next could possibly go wrong?
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
I am sure I will know momentarily
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
Yup - he turned that horrible crap up louder
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
Beautiful
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
Any updates?
<> says:
no...nothing
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
This is the worst
<> says:
you'll have to count on minimum an hour
<> says:
just to clear the accident and get things moving
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
It's been an hour already
<> says:
then keep your fingers crossed
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
Well I might as well just go home
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
If I can ever get there
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
Now the f-ing b*tch who cut us off just shut off her car and refuses to move
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
So the bus driver just rammed her car out of the way and took off
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
That moment was fucking GOLD
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
It was almost all worth it
<> says:
yahoo. you should blow the bus driver a kiss when you get off
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
I honestly would never have expected a bus driver to do that, let alone
one listening to music this horrible.
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
What a stupid b*tch she was though.
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
I have probably never seen anyone more ignorant in my entire life.
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
Now traffic behind us is all f-ed up because she's f-ing mental.
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
At least we're now moving.
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
I am going to go to the thing, super late, but what can you do?
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
I want to win an ipod MINIMUM though
<> says:
that would be nice
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
Yes
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
For all my troubles, I deserve it
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
Someone just got on the bus and this huge exacto fell out of their bag
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
No one picked it up
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
SKETCH
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
We're almost where we have to turn, so the end is visible
<> says:
hooray
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
Yes but something else could go wrong, it's been one of those days for sure
<> says:
we'll hope for the best
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
Yes, but now the loud retard has been staring at me for 15 minutes staright
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
Ugh
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
Yay, he shut off the music
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
no, he just changed it
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
Ugh
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
We're almost there
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
Slowly
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
Yes, now the bus is trying to half drive on the snowbank to get by people
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
Not working
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
But the effort is appreciated
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
Oh god, he did it
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
I love him
<> says:
a new hero is born
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
Now some other b*tch cut us off
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
I hope he rams her too
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
Now two ambulances just had to drive through this shit
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
It was most impressive
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
Wow this quite an adventure
<> says:
some nice action going on
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
They're basicaaly clearing a way for us
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
5 minutes and I am at the metro
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
Who knew the bus would be such an adventure
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
I almost want to propose marriage to the driver
~LUSHIOUS~ says:
At least break into applause!

The second part of this adventure was all done to the soundtrack of some crazy classical music. How apropos. And he did sort of ram the second b*tch who cut us off.

The bus driver rocked. Some woman on the bus who kept complaining to him it was hot, well when she got off, he told her, "Enjoy yourself, it's cold out there."

lol

I MISS THEM

I am currently walking around my place wearing my havs. I miss them. I can't wait til summer.

I'm Not That Kind of Girl

Not the one that ballads are written for.

That ships sail for.

That causes sleepless nights.

That monuments are built for.

That wars are waged for.

I really am not her.

I'm the girl who

tries too hard.

Gives too much.

Is loved too little.